The menu was sort of terrifying. Wandering outside the realm of breakfast, we found no vegetarian options. The salads ALL contained meat of some sort. Can you tell this is an American chain? The breakfast menu could be divided into several parts: the reasonable (Breakfast Special, oatmeals), the hefty (platters with pancakes and a normal breakfast on the side) and the completely bonkers (“Southern Fried Chicken Biscuit Platter” that cost $2 less than the ham one).

The Special was listed as “Egg Classics,” y’know, just to be classic. At $8.99, it’d better be damn classic. As it turned out, it wasn’t that bad. All food was served on platters at least 1.5x bigger than they needed to be, but the nice simple colour schemes on them were nice to look at.

I got the bacon and marble rye options. My eggs came as ordered and were fine. Nothing special. The potatoes were something that I hadn’t seen in a while: grated, but good! There were two options for potatoes: “breakfast potatoes” or hashbrowns. The brekkie potatoes were the frozen, cubed awful ones that I hate, and the hashbrowns were the grated that I liked. The hashbrowns were likely pre-frozen as well, but it didn’t show in the taste. I got four pieces of tasty bacon, and the marble rye toast was excellent. Leif’s standard “eggs over-hard” were a bit puzzling: they were more scrambled than just “over hard” but tasted fine. We all got a packet of grape jelly without asking, and the hot sauce was Tobasco.

Heather got the ominous “Southern Fried Chicken Biscuit Platter” which scared the poop out of her soon as it landed. The grey sauce was flavourless, she said, and the rest of it was just overwhelming.

All in all, the service was excellent and the food was pretty good. Perkins loses points for being completely without heart, having all-frozen ingredients and poorly coffee. Also it’s pretty busy and noisy with clientele from all walks of life, except the classy walk. Perkins will do in a jiffy if it’s 4:30am and you’re drunk, but as a choice for a sober breakfast, there are better.

Heather looks ticked off because her sausage gravy was tasteless.

Leif always looks like this.

Awesome Toast!

June 21 2008

Perkins Restaurant and Bakery

305 Madison near Polo Park

Hours of operation:

Mon - Sun            6 AM - midnight

$8.99 “egg classics”  (plus coffee)

This location used to be on the corner of Ness and St. James but has since bumped over about 200 meters East, and at least three degrees up, class-wise. The open concept dining area was wonderfully spacious and sported some art that almost looked classy, not motel-like, as I expected.

Our server immediately left us with a couple of carafes, which pleased me immensely. Not having to wait for the server for refills is always a good thing. The coffee was JUST above the quality of the underground lake of rancid filth that we’re usually served, but the large volume of it snuffed out our misgivings. Our server didn’t leave us spoons, but rather straws which we had to stir our coffee with.