Don’t walk within 10 feet of that room lest you encounter the wrath of ancient Bay staff. The ceiling was made to resemble a flowing river which was kind of cool. I also enjoyed the view from the fourth floor of downtown Winnipeg.

The appeal stopped at the atmosphere. The hashbrown options were “cubes” or “patty.” Neither sound appealing, do they? The patty tasted like it was from McDonald’s, and the cubes were expectedly dry and cardboardy. The 3½ slices of bacon tasted like container. They pre-cook the bacon, pile it into a big container and then reheat it on the grill to order. That’s one way of doing it, I guess. I don’t think we’ve encountered this kind negligent bacon prep before.

They had a huge-ass coffee machine that made funny noises when operated. After the big production of “brewing” our coffee, it still tasted like instant. Way to go, Douwe Egberts. Maybe it was the machine… Leif said it “tastes like airplane coffee.”

Our eggs came as we ordered, over-easy for me and over-hard for Leif. However, they were nearly indistinguishable. Both servings were somewhere between easy and hard. I didn’t mind too much because I still had yolk to play with, but Leif disliked the runnyness. Over-hard means hard, not medium.

To summarize: the coffee tasted funny. The bacon tasted funny. The hashbrowns tasted funny. And everything was so greasy it was almost unbelievable. The slurge puddle left behind was epic.

If you’re the kind of person to spend an entire day in The Bay, the Paddlewheel might be for you. I would rather walk a block to better restaurants like Soups Sandwiches and More, or the Alexis Grill. I was perplexed by the line-up of customers anxiously awaiting the cafeteria to open.

February 26 2009

Paddlewheel Restaurant

(in The Bay.)

450 Portage Avenue, fourth floor

Hours of operation:

Mon-Fri –

Sat –

Sun –

Breakfast Special $4.69              

Coffee refills $0.88

The Paddlewheel offers a desperately greasy breakfast. This cafeteria was not saved by the decorative paddlewheel (source of the name, obviously) or the kitschy office-feel of the eating area. I hate bussing my own trays, especially for food that tastes kinda funny.

I must talk about the décor for a minute. It’s rife with Hudson’s Bay Company imagery. Antiques adorn the halls and walls and offer an interesting glimpse into Manitoba’s past. The ordering area is a sterile (yet not so sterile) cafeteria, but the sitting area was nice. It was office like in that there were walls and partitions with windows in them leading to other rooms like in an office. To one side were the slightly hidden VLT machines, and to the other was the staff eating area.

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